I have nine kids, and most of them slept with me. I carried them around all day because it was the only way I could get anything done. It made for a happier baby and more rested mom. Plus, maybe it will help you connect with him. You’re going through an incredibly tough time right now. Don’t feel bad about sitting and holding or playing with your kids. Forget everything else you think needs to get done (almost impossible, I know).
Like previously said, it’s temporary, which I know doesn’t help at all right now. The fact that you’re pulling yourself together enough to care for your kids says a lot. You’ll get through it. In the mean time, search for help wherever you can get it. Don’t be afraid to leave your house a disaster, even if it’s like that for the next year- you and your kids are far more important. Give yourself breaks. 6 months from now life will look very different, so just get there one day at a time. If I was close-by, I’d offer my help.